And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
