apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
