I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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