brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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