I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
