I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Randomize
