I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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