yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
