I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Randomize
