we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Randomize
