If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
