And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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