Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
