Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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