JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
