Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
