Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize