Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
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