Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
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