you turned your livingroom into a bong?
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
