I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
