She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Randomize
