Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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