i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
