Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Randomize
