Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
