My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
