You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
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