whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I can't trust your balls anymore.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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