I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
