Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize