so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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