thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
