do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
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