do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
