I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
