i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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