either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Randomize
