Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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