I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
