Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
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