i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize