Sry I called you an 8
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Randomize
