did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
