Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
