??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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