3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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