doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
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