I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Randomize
