you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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