Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
It's never too late to be topless.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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