Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
