ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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