I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Randomize
