Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
