I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
