you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Randomize
