I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
