But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Randomize
