Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Randomize
