I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
