he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Randomize
