It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
You're like the curious george of whores
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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