she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
