so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Randomize
