Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
