Having a random hookup so left but love u
if i can run in heels then i can drive
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
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