It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
