She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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