12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
